What a fun few days surrounding the 4th of July. Thursday Brad and I went to a local festival with some friends to see a band and enjoy some local brews. I was literally surrounded by all kinds of food vendors....from tacos to funnel cake and ice cream. Not an easy place for someone like me to be, because the smells were making me crazy and all I wanted to do was eat things that were bad for me. Luckily I am easily side-tracked and I got caught up in the band and conversations with friends instead -- forgetting all the while that I wanted to chow down. Of course I had already eaten at home in anticipation of wanting to stay in control around all the food vendors. I struggled, but triumph! Afterwards we had a lakeside gathering and a fire - a little chilly for July. The rest of the holiday weekend was busy with parties and friends visiting/staying with us. I must say that I feel I did a great job keeping my food demons under control. And without even having to use the visualization techniques that I so often turn to! I kept thinking, YES! I turned a corner!!

But then the next night I lost it...binged big time in the late evening. Snacking on anything and everything I could find in my cabinets. I was SO pissed at myself. Why do I do this?? I wasn't even hungry. Total failure, total self-humiliation. I'm baffled at my will power some of the time and my complete pitfall failures at other times. I have to remember to 52tries myself and get Gram here beside me to help me get back on track when this happens. It's just food, but I guess it's just as much of an addiction as anything else. To me anyway. Crap.