The past couple weeks have been interesting for me. I found myself at a fork in the road, unsure about where to go from here. As much as I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy writing and sharing my journey, I feel that my purpose with another26 tries has come to an end.

52tries was an eye-opening experience for me to learn to be honest with myself and with Brad about my day-to-day struggles with food. I realized things about myself that I never really knew….and I’ve learned so much about myself and my friends/family/fellow blog readers. I know how to better control my inner food demons. I am fairly good at really utilizing my visualization techniques and keeping my dear Gram by my side when I stumble. So why am I going to stop writing each week? Why did 52tries end? I think both journeys just came to a natural stopping point. At first, I decided to continue on my own because I didn’t want to let myself down. I didn’t want to tell myself I was going to do something and then give up midway. But I don’t feel like I’m giving up! I feel like this is the biggest triumph of all to celebrate – the unexpected. The thought that I believed I’d need a full year to overcome the mental side of an eating disorder that started when I was a teenager and had somehow resurfaced emotionally over recent times. It was a blip. I bounced outside the radar for a bit, but I’m back in line. It’s ok to falter. It’s ok to fail even. Pitfalls and triumphs are the rhythm of most things in life I suppose.

If you have been reading, I hope that I have somehow positively impacted your everyday outlook on food. I will continue to celebrate the kitchen alchemy that brings people together, and be thankful for all the support around me.

If you ever find yourself in a position where you need support of a fellow survivor of an eating disorder, I will always be willing to talk with you. I will continue to keep another26tries.blogspot.com active. Should you ever wish to contact me, please leave a comment in this last posting with a way to reach you and I will be happy to chat.

We all have the strength within us all to overcome eating challenges. Sometimes it just takes some help. I wasn’t afraid to ask for it and post my stories for the world to read. Don’t ever be scared to reach out to me or to someone else if you find yourself needing help. I’m proof that we’re all in this together and the triumphs really can outweigh the pitfalls. All best to you, my readers. Thank you for accompanying me on this amazingly eye-opening trip. Best therapy ever!  

I'm sort of at a loss in regards to what I want to write about today. I guess there's one thing nagging at me....the fact that I thought having 2 dogs would keep me fitter than ever by walking more. Besides developing firmed up biceps from all the leash pulling, I feel LESS fit! One young, one old....all they really want to do is sniff, not walk. Even Frank. I thought a young puppy would walk me out of energy, but he's too curious, he's a slacker! Sniff here, sniff there, watch the birds, sit down in the middle of the street to scope out dead stuff and then drag me into the bushes to find it...! Gotta work on this. Dylan's great, but he's older and slower - not a workout for me anymore. So that's the next few weeks' task at hand, to get that Frankenstein to learn that I'm his walking boss! I know I always feel better when I feel fit, and summer is easy for me to find excuses to slack on my workouts and walks - there's always something more fun going on elsewhere. I'm on it, I know I'll feel better with a little more effort and I won't be freaking out that my pants are a little snug. Stupid pants.

 It's the start of garden harvest time in my backyard...I LOVE that!!! We were having a gathering with neighbors the other night and I was making them all try my lettuce while we sat outside enjoying the weather. They of course were sort of laughing at me, but I was on cloud nine! To know that I can grow produce that can literally sustain life is empowering and so rewarding! Some of our friends' kids were super interested in what was what in the garden. We picked herbs, enjoyed the amazing aromas, I taught them about textures and seeds....what fun!! So in the spirit of my mind being in the mood for some type of change, I wonder why I couldn't have garden "class" gatherings with whoever was interested....Enchanted Garden Evenings? Teach kids in the neighborhood about growing and caring for the food that ends up on their tables at home? Hmmmmmm....

Each year I plant purple pansies around my garden and yard in honor of Gram, knowing she's always with me. So seeing those purple pretties sitting beautifully next to my zucchini, I can't help but think of her....and as always there are little butterflies darting around which I know are Grandma Rosemary. When Google Maps first came out with street view imaging, you may recall seeing the camera car occasionally driving through different neighborhoods. When it went through Grandma Rosemary's neighborhood, it just so happened to snap a pic of the her home address, with her crouched in the front lawn, pulling a dandelion. She LOVED maintaining her yard and took care of it with an impeccable zest...I take after her quite a bit in that sense. A little piece of her forever captured by "the Google" as we like to say :). I think about both grandmas as I care for my garden and I am missing both of these lovely ladies as I so often do. But they are both there with me. I know it. And probably chuckling along with me at the giant zucchini that got lost under it's mammoth leaves! There should be some sort of prize for a crop like that!  Thanks ladies :) Muah!

What a fun few days surrounding the 4th of July. Thursday Brad and I went to a local festival with some friends to see a band and enjoy some local brews. I was literally surrounded by all kinds of food vendors....from tacos to funnel cake and ice cream. Not an easy place for someone like me to be, because the smells were making me crazy and all I wanted to do was eat things that were bad for me. Luckily I am easily side-tracked and I got caught up in the band and conversations with friends instead -- forgetting all the while that I wanted to chow down. Of course I had already eaten at home in anticipation of wanting to stay in control around all the food vendors. I struggled, but triumph! Afterwards we had a lakeside gathering and a fire - a little chilly for July. The rest of the holiday weekend was busy with parties and friends visiting/staying with us. I must say that I feel I did a great job keeping my food demons under control. And without even having to use the visualization techniques that I so often turn to! I kept thinking, YES! I turned a corner!!

But then the next night I lost it...binged big time in the late evening. Snacking on anything and everything I could find in my cabinets. I was SO pissed at myself. Why do I do this?? I wasn't even hungry. Total failure, total self-humiliation. I'm baffled at my will power some of the time and my complete pitfall failures at other times. I have to remember to 52tries myself and get Gram here beside me to help me get back on track when this happens. It's just food, but I guess it's just as much of an addiction as anything else. To me anyway. Crap.

Welcome to my first post on another26tries! This is my first solo blog and I really don't have a clue what I'm doing yet, which is part of the fun. 52tries has launched me into having a desire to continue my writing for the rest of the year at least, and then who knows where I'll go from there. Thanks for choosing this fork in the road with me! I hope you get as much out of reading as I do out of writing. I'm finding this journey to be a very therapeutic one and it's even better that I'm not traveling these open roads alone. It's my personal choice not to join most social media outlets, so you will only find me here at another26tries. So pull up a seat and join me, and thank you for following!